Destiny Dawn Ackroyd

On November 5, 2009 I went to the hospital because I had not felt any movement for a few days by the baby that I was carrying. The doctors were unable to find a heartbeat and asked me to return to the  hospital the next day. On November 6, Destiny Dawn was silently born. We held a funeral on November 10.

This is a talk I wrote for the funeral and had my dear friend, Patti Hawruluk, read. 

 

A lot of people have asked me about what happened and why. I knew nothing of these things prior to this week – but I’ve learned a lot.

Destiny’s birth was considered a stillbirth.

US statistics say a stillbirth occurs once in every 125 births. That stat sounded high to me – but the night I was I in the hospital there was another lady who delivered a still-born child as well. I could hear the woman’s cries down the hall. It was a sound I’ll never forget.

In only 50% of these cases are they able to determine a cause. When they are able to find a cause, the reasons usually fall into 3 categories:

1. child birth defects

2. placenta and umbilical cord problems

3. maternal conditions, such as diabetes, or other diseases, or drug or alcohol abuse.

We don’t know the cause in our situation. After Destiny was born, we asked them to do an autopsy. They took her to the Children’s Hospital to do that. So far we don’t know of any medical reason that this happened. Maybe in time we will find out, and maybe we’ll be part of the 50% that never knows why.

Having a stillborn child does not automatically mean there will be problems in future pregnancies. The stats say there is a 97% chance future pregnancies will not end this way.

I wish you could have seen Destiny. She was perfect. The footprints in the program are hers. She had 10 beautiful little toes and 10 tiny fingers. The picture on the front of the program is one the nurse took of her little hand. The teddy bear she’s holding is about two inches long. She had a nose like Jill’s and blonde eyelashes that were long like Peirce’s. She only weighed 1 lb 11 oz. We all got to hold her. It was like holding a tiny doll.

On Monday morning this past week, I told Peirce that our baby had died and that I’d have to stay in the hospital a couple days while the doctors helped me. His response was interesting. He told me that he knew that already. He had gone to bed Sunday night when we left to go to the hospital and so I asked him what he meant by that. He said that he always knew this baby wasn’t going to come to our house.

For me – well, I didn’t know that. I had plans for this baby and I so looked forward to getting to know her. Jill and Peirce are such interesting little people. I just knew she’d add an interesting element to our family and I was excited to see it all unfold. When I was in the hospital my heart ached. I wondered and asked Heavenly Father if I couldn’t just go to the other side of the veil for a moment to get to know Destiny more and make sure she was going to be okay all alone. It was made clear to me that she isn’t all alone. She was met by Nana Hyde and Grandma Ackroyd and all her other grandparents that have gone on before. I felt strongly that my cousin Kelly who died at age 5 would hold her hand and walk with her and tell her of her mommy and daddy’s love. I also knew my cousin Scott who died recently would play with her and help her to have fun, because he was always the king of fun.

I don’t know why this has happened. I can find many lessons in it all though. I’ve always been a little afraid to approach people that are grieving. But now I know how comforting it is to have hugs even from those who just don’t know what to say. I’ve learned how truly blessed I am. I have a dear husband who has cried with me and cried on his own. He’s been so strong through it all and has been happy to take care of the things I thought were just too hard. We are stronger together as a result of going through this. I also have a new appreciation for Jill and Peirce. They’re both grieving in their own unique ways and I admire them for their strength. I’ve also come to appreciate the layers of support we have: our parents, our siblings, our cousins and aunts and uncles, our friends at church and at work and at school. You’ve all been so kind and so wonderful. I marvel that God sent us two angels in the form of Virgnia and Maren to take care of everything at home while I was in the hospital and after I got home. Also, the nurses and my doctor were all amazing. Everyone was careful and kind and sensitive. My list of people to thank could go on forever. We’ve been carried by many people through all of this.

People always say “everything happens for a reason”. I don't care much for that phrase. I don’t know the reasons we had to go without the chance to get to know and spend time with Destiny…but I can accept it because more than anything I know that God loves me, as he does you, and one day when I sit with Him I will ask. Until then I will continue to walk by faith.

I pray each of you will have peace in your life and comfort in knowing that God loves you too.

Family Visits

 

When Mom’s Dad passed away in 1936, her baby brother, James Van Day (Jay for short)  was just six months old.  His mother was nursing him, and as babies can do, he was picking up on the stress and sadness his mother was experiencing.  Therefore, she was also dealing with one very cranky baby.  In Mom’s words, “He cried a lot.”  Finally, someone fixed a bottle for Jay and her Uncle Velve Heggie held him and fed him.  He took the bottle like he was very hungry and finally slept. 

We moved from Raymond to Rosemary in the spring of 1945.  In November of that same year, then nine-year-old, Jay took very ill.  His mother took him to the new hospital that had been built in Taber.  The doctor was not sure what was wrong.  He sent specimens from his throat and lungs to the laboratory in Lethbridge.  Mom’s family in Taber sent word that Jay was ill, and Mom and Dad immediately packed us all up and we went to Taber. 

A few days later, Jay passed away.  It was Armistice Day, 11 November 1955.

Later that Day, Mom’s sister, Aunt Verna, gave birth to her third child, Bonnie Rae.  Can you imagine the mixed emotions she was experiencing?

The throat and lung cultures came back indicating Jay had diphtheria.  The whole family was quarantined.

They were not allowed to have a funeral, just a graveside service.  The day Jay died, there was a Chinook wind blowing, but the day he was buried, it was thirty degrees below zero. (And that was in the days when it was still Fahrenheit degrees.)  

Rosemary was a long ways from Raymond and Taber, where most of our relatives lived but we did keep in touch and visited back and forth and there were happier times when we could get together.  I remember when Aunt Verna and Uncle Clarence, Aunt Lenor and Uncle Joe, and Grandma came to visit in Rosemary. 

Marvelle and I had such fun playing with our cousins and could not wait until we could visit again. 

Uncle Clarence with Lester Ann on his knee and Louiene.

Uncle Clarence, Aunt Verna, with Arliss and Louiene

Grandma (Sarah Evans VanDam Day), Aunt Verna, Dad (Clarence Hyde), Mom (Floy Hyde), Uncle Joe Edwards and Aunt Lenor Edwards.  In front Lester Ann and Marvelle.

Marvelle and Louiene on the tricycle and Arliss giving Lester Ann 

a ride in the wagon.

Marvelle, Arliss, Louiene, and Lester Ann by Uncle Clarence’s car.

Arliss, Marvelle, Louiene, Gordon, and Lester Ann.

 

The Stranger

 

By Lester Ann Hyde Jensen

July 21, 2016

 

Last week at lunch at the temple while visiting with some of my table mates, I was introduced to a Brother Keith Bevans.  I mentioned there was a Bishop Bevans who was my parents’ Bishop when they answered the call to serve a mission in Nauvoo.  He asked their name and when I told him it was Clarence and Floy Hyde, he smiled and said,

“Yes, I sent them on their mission.”

Several others at the table said they also knew my parents as they had worked in the temple with them.  They all spoke very highly of Mom and Dad and one Sister, Alice Sheen, said: “I must tell you story about your parents.”

She said: “We were going home one cold and rainy evening after our shift at the temple.  Your Mom and Dad lived near us and we were travelling close to one another.  There was a young and unkept looking hitch hiker on the road and we were concerned when your Mom and Dad stopped and picked him up, but we continued on our way home as did your parents. “

I am sure Dad’s main concern was this poor guy who was wet and cold, probably very tired and hungry. 

Everyone went home.  End of story, right?  Wrong: 

The next time Sister Sheen saw my mom, she asked how their evening with the hitchhiker went and Mom had a very interesting story to tell.

After commenting on how cold it was, Dad asked if the young man would like to stay in their home for the night.  He accepted their invitation.  Mom questioned him: “Have you had your supper?  Are you hungry?” to which he answered, “I haven’t eaten for two days.”

When they got him home, they noticed how very dirty he was.  Dad asked if he would like to have a shower before dinner.  He said that would be wonderful but he didn’t have any other clothes to change into.  That was a perfect introduction to Mom’s next question.  “Would you like me to wash your clothes?”  He seemed quite happy to have her do that. 

So Dad found him a robe to wear while mother washed his clothes.  I can just see Mom very gingerly handling his dirty clothes as she loaded them into the washing machine, but knowing my mother she was probably quite happy to wash them and let him shower as she wouldn’t want all that grime in one of her clean beds.

Mom did his laundry and proceeded to prepare the meal.  He was definitely hungry as he cleaned up his plate and gratefully accepted second and third helpings. 

Finally they all went to bed but, when they retired to their bedroom Mom and Dad looked at one another and asked: “What have we allowed into our house??  What could he do to us? Is he a drug addict, or worse, a murderer?  They didn’t sleep terribly soundly that night.  Worry kept them awake and they were up bright and early the next morning.  Mom fixed breakfast, but their house guest didn’t appear. 

They discussed the possibilities.  Had he risen earlier than them and left? What did he take with him when he left?  Was he even alive down there??  So many unanswered questions!

They waited for a long time and finally, Dad went downstairs to check.  He tapped on the door.  No answer.  He tried the door.  It wouldn’t open.  Then he knocked a little more loudly and persistently.  Finally a very groggy and sleepy young man came to the door. It took a few minutes to open the door as he had lodged a chair against the door knob to keep Mom and Dad out.

Dad laughed as he suddenly realized HE WAS AFRAID OF THEM!

Their guest apologized for sleeping so late.  He said he hadn’t slept in any bed, let alone a nice clean and comfortable bed such as this, for over a month.  He said he just slept so soundly and enjoyed the comfort and warmth of their home so much that even if he had been awake, he would have wanted to stay just a bit longer.  He apologized for sleeping so late and after eating a hearty breakfast he thanked them sincerely and continued on his way. 

After he left, Mom’s motherly instincts were in high gear.  She wondered where this young man’s parents were.  She would have loved to be able to contact them and tell them where he was and so far he was safe and well.  What more could they have done to make his journey a bit easier?  Her concerns for and about him had been so different just a few hours ago.  Dad just smiled his crocked little smile when she voiced her new concerns for their new friend, this young traveler. 

My heart swelled with pride and love for my parents as Sister Sheen told me and our other table mates about what good and generous people my parents were.  

The only comment that came to my mind is found in Matthew 25:40:  “Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.”

 

Socksie

 

SOCKSIE

By:  Lester Ann Hyde Jensen

 

Photo taken in Taber when I was about 10 years old

I was five years old when I was introduced to Socksie.  I don’t remember why we went to Lethbridge that day but on our way home we stopped in Raymond to visit with Jim and Alice Still.   Aunt Alice had a cat with a batch of kittens who were ready to leave their mother.  Aunt Alice offered to let me pick any one I wanted.   To convince Dad, we should take a kitten she told him the mother cat was the best cat she ever had. She said she was clean, a great mouser, a good mother  who kept her kittens spotlessly clean, trained them well and taught them to hunt.   

Dad agreed and the one I picked had many different colors, kind of a calico/tabby cross.  I fell in love with her instantly and because she had four white feet, I named her Socksie.    She proved to be every bit as good a cat as Aunt Alice had promised.  Every six months she had a new batch of kittens and she trained and cared for them just like her mother did.  She let me and my little sister play with her and her babies. We had a grand time dressing them in our doll clothes and pushing her around in our doll buggy.  

Word of Socksie’s talents and habits spread among our friends and neighbours and we never had any trouble finding homes for her kittens. 

One day while cutting hay, Dad made a horrible discovery.  There was a rabbit’s nest hidden in the grass and the mower blades cut right through it.  The tiny babies were not hurt but the bigger mother was killed.   Very tenderly, Daddy picked up the orphaned bunnies and brought them home to Socksie who just happened to be caring for a new batch of kittens.  Her motherly instincts took over and she nursed them along with her kittens. She had plenty of milk for all of them and she protected them like they were no different.    She cleaned them like she did her own babies and even tried to teach them to hunt.  She led them, along with her kittens to the tall grass behind the ranch house and could not figure out why they weren’t interested in mice like the kittens were.  It was great fun to watch the bunnies interact and play with Socksie’s kittens.  The bunnies hopped everywhere they went, and the kittens could barely keep up with them but just like children who laugh and play with other children no matter what differences existed between them, they loved playing together. 

Socksie took care of them until they were old enough to go back to the wild. I remember well the day we turned them loose.  They seemed a bit confused and could not figure out what they were to do but they were no more confused than Socksie was. Finally, after much effort on our parts, the bunnies hopped away, and they were gone.  I was heartbroken.   For weeks after Socksie would wander down to the spot where we left them and just lay in the grass for a while, then come back to the ranch house.  It was obvious she missed them and wondered where they had gone.  Dad explained why wild animals needed to live in the wild and domestic animals could stay with us.  I understood but I worried and wondered about whether Socksie or the bunnies did. 

Shirley and Lester Ann Playing with Socksie and her kittens

It was Dad’s habit to feed Socksie some milk when he milked the cows.  In the fall of about 1962, Socksie was 13 years old.    At this time of the year, between the factory and the farm, Dad was terribly busy.  Socksie looked like she did not feel well, and Dad was concerned about her.  He was concerned that she might have missed her milk too often and maybe she had mouse poisoning from eating too many mice that were so plentiful in the fields.  She had yet another batch of kittens and Dad was concerned they were too much drain on her health, so he got rid of them. 

Unfortunately, a few days later he found her lying in a puddle in the barnyard, dead.  The whole family was devastated to lose our beloved Socksie.  In her effort to cheer us up, mom quipped, “She probably found out she was pregnant again and she committed suicide. “

Dad said he was sorry he had gotten rid of all the kittens.  He would have liked to have one of her kittens so her legacy would live on.

 

Leah Rawlins (1827 - 1866)

 

Leah Rawlins is my 3rd great grandmother. The information for this story is taken from history written by Leah Jane Day Fitzgerald Draper Historical Society. The History of Draper, Utah, Volume One: People of Draper 1849-1924. (Salt Lake City, UT: Agreka History Publishing, 1999), pp. 225-226, Draper Library.

Her birthday is a day before my husband's: September 19, 1827. She was born in Green County, Illinois. Her parents were James and Jane Sharp Rawlins. 

She was part of the Willard Richards company that traveled to Utah in wagons in 1848. She was 20 years old. There were 14 Rawlins listed in the company. She went with her family:

• Jane Rawlins (Age: 54)
• James Rawlins (Age: 54)
• Amelia Jane Rawlins (Age: 16)
• Elva Ann Rawlins (Age: 14)
• Melvina Charlotte Rawlins (Age: 11)
• 
  

They settled at Millcreek, or Big Cottonwood, Utah. Leah married Henry Day on January 1, 1852, at Millcreek, Utah. They were married by Bishop Ruben Miller; nine years later, in 1861, they were endowed and sealed in the Endowment House in Salt Lake City, Utah. 

Henry Day built the second house in South Willow Creek, now known as Draper, Utah, and they moved there and suffered the hardships of pioneer life. 

Leah was the first wife of Henry Day: It has been said that he came to Utah because of Leah; he joined The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints on July 13, 1851. He was baptized in the Big Cottonwood creek, by Elder Berryman. 

He helped build the fort in Draper for the protection of the people from the Indians. He was called to go as a guard at the time of Indian troubles, leaving Leah alone with her small children. When word came that Johnston's Army was on their way to Utah to destroy the Mormons, it became necessary for him to move his family to Mountainville, now Alpine, Utah. While there, their third child, Leah Jane, was born in a dugout or cave. Henry Day belonged to the Nauvoo Legion and when word came of Johnston's Army, he was called under Samuel Bennion to go to Fort Bridger with a company of fifty men and he was appointed captain of ten men. When peace was negotiated, Mr. Day returned home and moved his family back to their home in Draper, Utah. 

Leah, like other pioneer mothers, did the cording of wool, spinning and weaving of wool to clothe her family. She was the mother of seven children, two of whom died in infancy, (Charles Eastman and Derias Rawlins). 

Leah's parents were considered to be well-to-do people when they Joined the Church. When Leah married, she had good clothes and when it became necessary for her to have hired help with her little family, she often paid them by giving one of her nice dresses. 

In 1862, her husband married Elizabeth Cottrell. Leah died at Draper, Utah, on August 31, 1866, leaving five small children: James Henry, Joseph Elisha, Leah Jane, EInora Anjaline, and Harriet Lucinda. Harriet died a few years later. The other four children grew to maturity, married, and became prominent men and women in the communities in which they lived. 

Elizabeth said of Leah, "She was a kindly lovable person and I looked upon her as a mother." Leah died as she had lived, in full fellowship in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, at Draper, Utah, and was buried in the Draper Cemetery. Elizabeth mothered and cared for Leah's five children as she did for her own nine, and all her grandchildren dearly loved Grandmother Elizabeth. 

by Leah Jane Nelson Jeppson, from history written by Leah Jane Day Fitzgerald Draper Historical Society. The History of Draper, Utah, Volume One: People of Draper 1849-1924. (Salt Lake City, UT: Agreka History Publishing, 1999), pp. 225-226, Draper Library.

Family

by Colleen Hyde Boyer

Several year ago, a young mother with three children was having many health problems. She was scheduled to have surgery that would end her family and her health problems. She decided she would like to go to the temple in the morning before she went to the hospital that afternoon. With her suitcase packed for her hospital stay, she entered The House of the Lord. While there, she asked the temple presidency to give her a blessing. The leaders agreed and they gave her a priesthood blessing.

During this blessing, they told her not to have the surgery with no explanation. She decided to heed their counsel and went home. For years, she waited for an answer to her faithfulness and was puzzled by this counsel. Four years later, I was born. I am so grateful for mother's obedience to the counsel of her leaders. She was a very faithful daughter of our Heavenly Father. I am also grateful for righteous leaders, who gave her this blessing. 

An eternal family is one of the greatest blessings our Heavenly Father can give us. Our family is a wonderful blessing to me. I am so grateful for each of you. As my family has grown significantly the last years, I am often overwhelmed by the feelings of responsibility this brings to me. I have had many family roles through the years. First, I was a daughter and a sister. Early in my life, I became an aunt (earlier than most because of the span in our family). Then I became a wife and a mother. In the last few years, I have taken on new roles as wife and step-mother, which have sometimes been the most challenging for me.

The most enjoyable role of all these has come to me with the role of grandmother. I have to admit, it has been the best! I love and enjoy this role the most. I look forward to many more grand-babies to love and to cherish. I pray that I might always be a righteous example of each of the roles I now or may be called to within my early life. May we always love and cherish our family. I pray that I will always live worthy of an eternal family with our earthly and with our Heavenly Parents and each of you. 

Gone Fishin'

 A few years later, after our canoeing at Lake Bonavista, we had moved to Kelowna. The same dauntless pair went fishing on one of hte lakes nearby. Randy was far more experienced with the water, the boat and the best procedure to catch fish, so they boarded his new fishing vessel and off they went, both appropriately attired. Randy proceeded to pull all kinds of fish out of the water. Gayle's attempts were futile.

Finally, Gayle caught one! Even though it was small, he was so proud of it. He proceeded to attach his catch to the chain that was dangling over the edge of the boat and put there for this very purpose. This was their method of keeping the fish fresh until they left for home. As Gayle was trying to attach the fish to the chain, the fish slipped from his hands. He wasn't about to let that little sucker get away so he went over the fish. Frantically, he reached into the water and retrieved the little guy, but not before coming perilously close to tipping the boat, fishing gear, Randy and all into the water.

Randy yelled at the top of his lungs, "Jensen! If you tip this boat over, you are dead meat!". 

Gayle didn't let Randy in on the plan, but there was no way he was going to tip that boat over. After all, he would have gotten wet as well and it was too far to swim to the shore. His attempts to keep his small bounty did, however, bring them dangerously close to that happening.