I was just looking at the things that have gone on with us in March and thought I'd share our comings and goings with you all.
First off, and foremost in my mind it seems, we got the autopsy results for Destiny. It was as I expected - no answers. There aren't any answers to the why question in the autopsy. The more reading I've done on this the more I am starting to believe that it is that there isn't a lot of research into pregnancy loss, I think that is really the biggest reason that there aren't a lot of answers. I've had a hard time this past month as I watch a couple friends that have had their babies that were due the same time as me. Bette was right. It's in the quiet moments months later that the tears flow and I spend a lot of time thinking and praying and wondering about this whole experience. I realize the hand of God and I have many wonderful blessings in my life.....but I'm still quite heartbroken. I ran into an old family friend this week and she was asking about how I was doing. She has children my age and I don't know if she had a baby die or not but I do know that s he did have a son die recently as an adult, so perhaps that is why I felt such a connection with her. She hugged me and said that a day won't go by without you thinking about that child...and she's right. It's nice to have understanding people around. My RSP sent me an email the other day telling me about a dream she had about me where the whole RS in our ward was in the temple and they were praying for me. It really touched my heart and caused me to think about how many people I do have in my life that care and do pray for us. I appreciate it. I've kind of tired to immerse myself in work and family life a little more lately - but I've decided that maybe just keeping myself extra busy isn't the key to healing. I guess I'll keep working on figuring that one out.
My life these days seems to revolve a lot around teaching our kids. We pulled Jill out of school at the end of December after lots of talks with her teacher and the principal. It was clear that it was a bad situation that wasn't going to get any better (to sum it up, nasty teacher!) - so we decided rather than fight for the good of the system we'd just remove our child. We could have sent her to a different class our a different school - but in the end we decided this was a great opportunity to try our hand out homeschooling. My days are filled with planning and doing and thinking about what is needed for her in her grade 4 life. Our board allows you to do a blended program - so she does Social Studies and Science with the board and I am just responsible for Math and Language Arts. Once a week she goes to a school for SS and Science classes - and I'm really impressed with what they're doing. Her teacher for SS is actually a member from Raymond that knows the Ackroyds well. She's really wonderful. Jill has learned a lot from her and has really enjoyed having a teacher that is a member. They sit and chat about things at lunch time that Jill would have never had the opportunity in different situations. She's really been wonderful. I don't think I've ever seen elementary Science taught quite so well either. It's really quite thrilling. Jill has developed a real love for science because of it all. I seem to make plans with Math and LA and then adjust the plans as regularly as I make the plans. Right now we're approaching language arts with a focus on immersing ourselves in books, books, and more books. We are reading a wide variety of genres and really loving it. It's been really great. I decided I didn't want to try to replicate school at home - but that we should try to do something with these few months that couldn't be done if she had been in school. We read a lot together and Jill reads a lot on her own. She's a bit of an obsessive writer - and so that helps too. She can't help herself...she has to write. It's good for her soul. I think she's getting a Language Arts experience she would have never experienced if we hadn't decided to homeschool....and I love it. She's also enrolled in a Spring Break camp at a kid's gym called Bull Dog. That was an interesting experience! It was non-stop activity all week from 8:30 am until 4:30 pm. She was one tired kid at the end of the day! She's also been in a drama class and has been working on sculpting with clay. It's a great life for her.
Peirce is loving Kindergarten. He HATES it when there are long weekends of, heaven forbid, entire weeks without school - like for Spring Break. He also seems to have been a little inspired by all the reading Jill is doing and really wants to be able to read on his own. We read the Book of Mormon together every morning and he has words he knows and so he reads those words. I figured I'd start doing a phonics program with him and read some basil type readers. He informed me last night that for him writing is a better way to learn to read. (Hmmmm....looks like we have two kids that HAVE TO write...interesting) He's really a charming and fun boy and I sure am enjoying seeing him grow into such a nice little boy.
Allen has had great success in his work lately. I was a little worried at the end of March when things went awry. His car got stolen. That threw us for a loop! The car was found in a field not far from where we live....it looked like they had tried to jump the ditch. The air bags were deployed, the windows were smashed, and the tires were flat. Even the front window was smashed. It looked like when they took the jump someone wasn't wearing a seatbelt and their head hit the window. No blood in the car though. I bet he had one heck of a headache! The good news is that we just got a settlement from the insurance company and we're going to get $100 more than we actually paid for the car! I was thrilled with that. It isn't often that you come out ahead on a situation like that!
I've really been working on our food storage lately too. Our stake is putting a big effort into helping members approach food storage more effectively and I've really caught the fever. Our main additions this month were a cow, a pig (which nessitated a new freezer...we got an upright one...and I LOVE it!), 80 pounds of honey (that's thanks to the co-op our stake has formed), apple sauce, and fruit leather (thanks to a great little produce store I found that sells fruit really cheap...but you have to buy it by the box for the best deals....so I did. And I'll be back!!) Phew! I bought a soy milk machine a month or so ago and I think I've mastered soy milk (Allen says it's as good at the stuff you buy.) I love it because you can make 2 litres of soy milk for less than a dollar...compared to about $5 in the store. I have also been making a lot of freezer meals for our family and it's been really wonderful to have this all on hand. Makes life much easier.....provides a little opening to add a few other things into my life (ha! Like I need to be trying to add more!)
Anyway, I hope that you're all doing well and that you'll let us know how things are in your house!
Dawn
Jaret Llewellyn at the second school doing his presentation.
